At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
