guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
