Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize