I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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