no, he came in my armpit
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have post one night stand depression
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