Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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