the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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