Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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