I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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