Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
