Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
