Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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