Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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