I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
