If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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