Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
