i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
