I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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