He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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