shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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