dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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