pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
