when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
