I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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