Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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