he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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