Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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