Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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