Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
