he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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