i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
