you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
