he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
