Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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