I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just pee around me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
