apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize