about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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