"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
