mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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