A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
