He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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