I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
