Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
