I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
