dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
