Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
