i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we have officially lost it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
