I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
