If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
