just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
