I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
