tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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