So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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