You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
