The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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