Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
