I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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