I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
