the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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